When I say I am just a small town girl, believe it. I have lived within a 5 mile radius my entire life.  All 63 years of it.  Worked since I was 15.  My parents were married for over 50 years.  Have one sister.  Have four children…two boys and two girls.  Married to a wonderful guy who has loved me unconditionally for 33 years.  We have lived in the same house for 28 years. Built a strong foundation with some cracks here and there, even some walls caved in but have fought all our battles together. Sounds perfect, right?  No.  We are far from perfect. Our family is broken.  And while people joke about money being the root of evil, it is true in our case. Money destroyed our family. 

This is the last picture I have of our family. And even then, back in 2021 when this was taken, there was brokenness. Distance that can’t be explained and battles for roles with my children. I pray one day we will have unity. Peace. Forgiveness. And a picture that will include the newest ones before it’s too late. I pray every day for that.

So often, I have and continue to ask God,  why?  Why is our family so broken? And honestly even with this renewed relationship and trust I have in God, I still don’t have the answer. But I can say I am committed to following this journey as the battle is his and I truly feel like I’m going to “see a victory“. (love Brandon Lake’s song) A victory for everyone. My whole family.

My Dad passed in 2013 and I don’t have a relationship with my Mom, but I pray daily for that to change, too. One thing I can say for sure though, is I am very thankful that she raised me in the church. 🙌🏻 The foundation was set many, many years ago and that gave me more to build on instead of having to start fresh. Thank you, Mom. I will forever be grateful. 🫶🏼

Through my strengthened relationship with God and ‘my’ church, I have learned so much over the past few years. While I wish I could change everything, I can’t. While I wish I could erase bad decisions, I can’t. While I wish I could take away the pain I have caused, I can’t. I have to stay focused on the future, learn from the past rely on God for healing and forgiveness. While I wish things would improve instantly. They won’t. I have to rely on God’s timing. This has been some of the hardest lessons, but I am getting better.

I also have grown in maturity. I have learned not to depend on others for my happiness. I have a clear understanding that happiness is first found within. And while that’s been a long journey (and is still in the works), I know I have God with me 24/7 and can do all things which he has placed in front of me. Even the uncomfortable.

So my friends. If you’re up for this journey with me and willing to watch as things change, then stop by often. Grab your favorite beverage and read along.

I love you all! 💕